When i needed you most
by cat-lou-91
Summary: My First Fic. Phil and Sam, lots of love! please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Set around the time Sam had her miscarriage but a year on! Romania happened and 'the break-up'!**

**A Year On**

"PHIL, your late again, how many times do you have to be told" Sam shouted from her office door as Phil pushed the big CID doors open.

"Yh, sorry guv, got held up, urgent buisness" He argued

"O really! Let me take a stab in the dark?! Would this urgent business have anything to do with a woman? Young, pretty, MARRIED?" Sam called just before she shut the door in Phil's face.

Phil walked over to his desk and sat down with a rather bleak look on his face.

Jo walked through the door and perched her self on the corner of his desk.

"Aww come on Phillip it cant be that bad surely?" she laughed

"Oo trust me it is" he said " Am like 5 minutes late and the guv'nor bites my head off thinking it was because of Monica!"

"Well is it?" Jo said

"Well...yhh sort of...but before you start there is nothing going on...am just looking out for her while Louis is away...I don't know why Sam is so bothered." he told her.

"Phil, Jo, burglary down on the Canley Estate, could you two get down there please, and don't be to long either, you DS Hunter have paperwork!" Sam called.

"Guv" they both chorused.

**Sam's POV**

I don't mean to be angry with him, or horrible to him, in fact I want to be nice to him and praise and chat with him like i used to. I don't know why I have to bring Monica up, because he probably wasn't even with her, and yes, I admit I think I may be jealous. I hate being mean to him, I really do, but i thought at least he might have remembered the date.

"Any one up for a round at the Seven Bells tonight?" Phil called

A few voices shouted 'yes' from various points around the CID office. In all Jo, Terry, Kezia, Grace and a few from uniform decided to take him up on his offer.

When everyone had left to go to the Seven Bells, Jo was just finishing up and noticed that Sams light was still on in her office as she passed. She knocked on the door and waited for Sam's acknowledgment. "Come in" she called

"Hey Sam, you not coming for a drink with us?" jo asked

"No, I don't really feel like it to be honest" Sam replied

"oo come on Love, it will do you good" jo begged

"o okay then just a quick one" Sam laughed

As Jo and Sam entered the pub they saw the rest of 'The Gang' sat at a table so they went and joined them. "Want do you want to drink Sam?" jo asked

"Mmm...I will just have a white wine thanks" she replied.

"Hey Sam" Phil called

"O hi Phil" she said

"What is the matter with you? What have I done wrong really?" he exclaimed

"Nothing Phil, nothing at all, I just thought you might have remembered that's all" she said sadly

"Remember what Sam?" he asked

"Its a year since I miscarried!!" she screamed and fled the pub leaving Phil reeling!

**Thank you, its my first fanfiction, please tell me what you think! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the second chapter for you. Thank you all for reviewing, your all so kind. I don't know whether this is the end of this fic yet, I haven't decided, I might do a sequel, am not sure. Review and tell me what you think i should do. Thank you to you all! Hope you enjoy!**

**Talk To Me**

Sam ran back to the station and up to the privacy of her office. She slammed the door shut and slid down the wall crying. **Why am I shouting at him? Its not his fault, the miscarriage was nothing to do with him, he didn't even get me pregnant! Why cant I just be civil with him? **Sam thought to herself as the office door opened to reveal a guilty, windswept looking Phil.

Sam looked up and Phil saw how tear stained her face was, he couldn't help but want to wrap her in his arms and look after her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, at that moment he realised how much he did still love her.

"I am sorry Sam, I should have remembered!" he said as he sat down on the floor next to her.

"Its not your fault Phil, I didn't really expect you to remember, it was nothing to do with you, but you were still there for me and what do I do, throw it back in your face!" she cried as she turned to face him. She looked up into his big brown eyes and felt her heart melt, she mentally kicked her self for thinking like that again.

"Yes, Sam, I should have remembered. You're my best friend, I am meant to remember stuff like that and you haven't thrown anything back in my face" he told her.

They both sat in silence, and after what felt like hours they both turned to face each other.

"Look.." they both said together.

"You first" Phil laughed

Sam got up off the floor and started pacing her office.

"Look Phil, I really need to get this off my chest. I'm so sorry for the way I have been treating you, I have been a cold, heartless bitch and being like that I feel like I have lost my best friend, the only person in the whole world that I could actually be truthful with. You were always there for me, what with Abi and Hugh and then in Romania you looked after me and I throw it all back in your face. And this morning, am sorry, the whole Monica thing, its got nothing to do with me what you do in your personal time but it does if it affects your work, you must understand Phil that I cant just let you get away with being late, how would that make me look as your boss, am sorry I just hope you understand." Sam reeled off while Phil just watched her stunned from the floor.

Phil stood up and walked over to where Sam was stood looking out of the window. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders and Sam felt herself melt at his touch.

"Look Sam, I can't blame you for shouting at me, I know that if I'm late then you have to tell me. And my personal life? Me and Monica? There is nothing going on, I don't feel anything what so ever for her, yes, I have to tell you, I have slept with her but it was just sex, nothing like what I felt for you Sam, you must understand that. I am still your best friend, that's the only thing that keeps me going, the only thing that gets me up in the morning, just knowing that when I get into this office I get to see you, and just knowing that you can tell me anything and I can tell you anything keeps me going" Phil told her.

"Phil, you always seem to make things difficult for me" Sam said as she pulled away from him.

"Sam, what the hell are you on about?"

"You, you're always telling me how you feel about me! And yes, I know I should be happy and tell you all what you want to hear from me, and then fall into your arms, but you know I cant do that Phil. Yes, I know I was always telling you to commit more and be more sensitive and protective etc but after everything Phil, when I ended it you said you had changed and that you would never cheat on me, that's why I ended it Phil coz I didn't want to be hurt by you, anybody but you, and look what you have gone and done slept with the first women that comes along, a women you hardly knew, and you said you had changed, how am I meant to trust you!" Sam shouted

"Sam what the hell do you want me to do? Not be with another women again? Wait for you to come back to me for the rest of my life? If I could Sam I would, but I know you will never come back to me!" He told her " I can't do this Sam!"

Phil stormed out of the office slamming the door behind him. Sam looked out of her window and saw him get into his car and speed off. She burst into tears, went over to her desk found the picture of her and Phil, which was taken not to long before she ended it and threw it against the wall, watching it as it smashed and hundreds of shards of glass fell to the floor.

Sam walked out of her office and down to her car. She drove home with the car radio blasting out. A song came on that reminded her of Phil and she turned it up, tears threatening to spill over.

**Here I stand alone****  
****With this weight upon my heart****  
****And it will not go away****  
****In my head I keep on looking back****  
****Right back to the start****  
****Wondering what it was that made you change**

Sam kept driving until she found herself driving down a familiar street. She pulled up outside the house and and went and stood outside the door. It started raining heavily but Sam didn't care, she needed to know the answer to her questions. She rang the doorbell and by the time the door was answered, Sam was soaking and cold.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing here? Look at the state of you, you must be freezing! Come inside and get dried" Phil told her

"No Phil, I need to know truthfully! When you said you loved me did you mean it? And when you said you had changed, if I hadn't have walked away and we had stayed at it would you have stayed faithful to me?" Sam asked.

"Sam, yes I did love you. I loved you more than anything in the world, you were the one thing I wanted and the only thing I needed. I loved you so much that every time I looked at you my tummy did somersaults and I got butterflies, I always felt like a teenage boy, that's what you did to me, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. And the answer to your last question, well I don't know, you never gave us the chance to find out, but I can take a wild guess, no, I don't think I would and I never even looked at another women when me and you were together. I just wanted to shout it off the rooftops that I was with you, me, no-one else, but the famous philandering, womaniser finally got the women of his dreams, but you never let me do that, we had to keep it quiet and you don't realise how much that killed me Sam." Phil explained

At this Sam ran forward and fell into Phil's arms. Phil pulled her inside and shut the door after her. He pushed her against the wall and kissed her passionately, a lust filled kiss that neither Sam nor Phil had felt since before the 'break up'.


End file.
